漢英語篇翻譯好壞比較研究

2023年12月25日發(作者：奮進的詩句)

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漢英語篇翻譯好壞比較研究

-----以《背影》兩種譯本為例

《背影》是朱自清先生的名作，被多次選入小學教材中，我們基本上都熟知這篇感人至深的散文，本文節選了一些其中段落，并以張培基先生和楊憲益先生的譯文為例來對比賞析，并探討一下散文英譯的方法與遣詞及其傳遞的不同情感

我與父親不相見已二年余了，我最不能忘記的是他的背影。那年冬天，祖母死了，父親的差使也交卸了，正是禍不單行的日子，我從北京到徐州，打算跟著父親奔喪回家。到徐州見著父親，看見滿院狼藉的東西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼淚。父親說:“事已如此，不必難過，好在天無絕人之路!”

It is more than two years since I last saw father，and what I can never forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In the winter of more than two years ago，grandma died and father lost his job. I left Bei-jing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma's funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou，the sight of the

disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started tears trickling down my cheeks. Father said，"Now that things' ve came to such a pass，it's no u crying. Fortunately，Heaven always leaves one a way out.”

( 張培基譯 )

Though it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never forget my last view of his back. That winter my grandmother died, and my f.專業資料.

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ather’s official appointment was terminated, for troubles never come singly. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with him for the funeral. When I joined him in Xuzhou I found the courtyard strewn with things and could not help shedding tears at the thought of granny. “What’s past is gone,” said my father. “It’s no u grieving. Heaven always leaves us some way out.

（楊憲益譯）

1. “我與父親不相見已二年余了，我最不能忘記的是他的背影。”

張先生譯的是 “It is more than two years since I last saw father，and what I can never forget is the sight of his back.”

楊先生譯的是 “Though it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never forget my last view of his back.”

漢英屬于不同語系的英語和漢語在句法上各具特色，其間差異不一而足。奈達在其《Translating Meaning》（1983）一書中指出：就漢語和英語而言，也許在語言學上最重要的一個區別，就是形合和意合的對比（contrast between

hypotaxis and parataxis）。其實，“意合”一詞，并非奈達首創。語法學家王力在其《中國語法理論》及《漢語語法綱要》兩本書中皆提及了“意合”。他在后者中言及：復合句里既有兩個以上的句子形式，它們之間的聯系有時候是以意合的……。

英語重形合，漢語重意合。-- 早已是人們的共識。英語借助connectives（連接詞）組成復句，漢語則可依靠語序直接組合復句。我覺得張先生有些漢.專業資料.

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語思維的痕跡，只是按照好于的順序譯過來沒有達到形合，而楊先生這句運用了連詞though串起了整句話，更加原汁原味，讀起來更符合英語習慣，并且字數更少，更簡潔。并且使用view使得這句話更具畫面感。

2. “正是禍不單行的日子”較之楊先生”troubles never come singly”張先生翻成”Misfortunes never come singly.”似乎更好些，因為此時朱自清先生遭遇的是親人的離去等不幸，misfortune更側重人生大不幸，命運的，trouble更側重麻煩，令人苦惱的事，而且也沒有讓人有悲傷的感覺。

3. “我從北京到徐州，打算跟著父親奔喪回家。我認為張先生譯的更好 “I left

Bei-jing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend grandma's funeral.”因為相比楊先生的 “I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with him for the funeral.” Left…for 比 went to 更地道 而且奔喪回家譯成hastening home to attend grandma's funeral.比go back with him for the funeral.”更能傳遞作者朱自清當時的事發的突然，更能表現出禍不單行。而且go back 太平常，缺少感情。

4.不必難過，張先生譯為it's no u crying，楊先生以為it’s no u grieving.就我個人而言，我認為楊先生譯的更好，因為crying表示的哭的動作grieving更側重與內心的無比痛苦，更能表現作者內心的傷痛，這種傷痛就算大哭也去不掉 。

我說道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望車外看了看，說，“我買幾個橘子去。你就在此地，不要走動。”我看那邊月臺的柵欄外有幾個賣東西的等著顧客。走到那邊月臺，須穿過鐵道，須跳下去又爬上去。父親是一個胖子，走過去自然要費些.專業資料.

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事。我本來要去的，他不肯，只好讓他去。我看見他戴著黑布小帽，穿著黑布大馬褂，深青布棉袍，瞞姍地走到鐵道邊，慢慢探身下去，尚不大難。可是他穿過鐵道，要爬上那邊月臺，就不容易了。他用兩手攀著上面，兩腳再向上縮;他肥胖的身子向左微傾，顯出努力的樣子。這時我看見他的背影，我的眼淚很快地流下來了。我趕緊拭淚，怕他看見，也怕別人看見。我再向外看時，他已抱了朱紅的橘子往回走了。過鐵道時，他先將橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。到這邊時，我趕緊去攙他。他和我走到車上，將橘子一股腦兒放在我的皮大衣上。于是撲撲衣上的泥土，心里很輕松似的，過一會說，“我走了;到那邊來信!”我望著他走出去。他走了幾步，回過頭看見我，說，“進去吧，里邊沒人”等他的背影混入來來往往的人里，再找不著了，我便進來坐下，我的眼淚又來了。

I said, "Dad, you might leave now." But he looked out of the window and said, "I'm going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don't move around." I caught sight of veral vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform

would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted to do that mylf, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark bule cotton-padded cloth

long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossin.專業資料.

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g the railway track. His hand held onto the upper part of the platform,

his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands. In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerins on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. When he came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, "I must be going now. Don't forget to write me from Beijing!" I gazed after his back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, "Go back to your at. Don't leave your things alone." I, however, did not go back to my at until his figure was lost among crowds for people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were again wet with tears.

（張譯）

“Don’t wait, father,” I said. He looked out of the window. “I’ll just buy you a few tangerines,” he said. “Wait here, and don’t wander off. Just outside the station were some vendors. To reach them he had to cross the lines, which involved jumping down from the platform and cla.專業資料.

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mbering up again. As my father is a stout man this was naturally not easy for him. But when I volunteered to go instead he would not hear of it. So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue

cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down --- not so difficult after all. But when he had crosd the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side. He clutched the platform with both hands and tried to heave his legs up, straining to the left. At the sight of his burly back tears started to my eyes, but I wiped them

hastily so that neither he nor anyone el might e them. When next I looked out he was on his way back with some ruddy tangerines. He put the on the platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he did after picking the fruit up. When he reached my side I

was there to help him up. We boarded the train together and he plumped the tangerines down on my coat. Then he brushed the dust from

his clothes, as if that was a weight off his mind. “I’ll be going now, son,” he said prently. “Write to me once you get there.” I watched him walk away. After a few steps he turned back to look at me. “Go on

in!” he called. “There’s no one in the compartment.” When his back disappeared among the bustling crowd I went in and sat down, and my eyes were wet again.

（楊譯）

1. 于是撲撲衣上的泥土，心里很輕松似的 he looked somewhat relieved an.專業資料.

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d said after a while,這里張先生譯的 somewhat relieved 有些模糊不清而楊先生譯的as if that was a weight off his mind，表現出來父親心事已了，已經對兒子做了力所能及的事，如釋重負了。

2. 等他的背影混入來來往往的人里，再找不著了，我便進來坐下

張譯：I, however, did not go back to my at until his figure was lost among crowds for people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible.

楊譯：When his back disappeared among the bustling crowd I went

in and sat down,

我認為這句話楊先生譯得更好，更簡潔，更巧妙，把找不著巧妙地用一個disappear 就表現了出來，并且把來來往往的人群直接譯為了bustling crowd，比張譯的crowds for people hurrying to and fro ，更地道，使得句子更行合，更緊湊。不過張先生的not until 用的很好，準確的表達出了作者對父親戀戀不舍的心情。因此我認為可以將楊先生的譯文再美化一下即是：I didn’t went

in and sat down until his back disappeared among the bustling crowd.

近幾年來，父親和我都是東奔西走⑩，家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外謀生，獨力支持，做了許多大事。那知老境卻如此頹唐萬他觸目傷懷，自然情不能自己。情郁于中，自然要發之于外;家庭瑣屑便往往觸他之怒。他待我漸漸不同往日⑩。但最近兩年的不見，他終于忘卻我的不好，只是惦記著我，惦記著我的兒子。我北來后，他寫了一信給我，信中說道，“我身體平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，舉著提筆，諸多不便，大約大去⑩之期不遠矣。”我讀到此處，在晶瑩的淚光中，又看見那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布馬褂的背影。唉!我不知何時.專業資料.

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再能與他相見!

In recent years, both father and I have been living an unttled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to wor. Father left

home to ek a livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be so downcast in old

age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry,

and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me. However, the paration of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he says, ”I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.” Through the glistening tearswhich the had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to e him again.

（張譯）

The last few years father and I have been moving from place to place, while things have been going from bad to wor at home. When he left his family as a young man to look for a living, he succeeded in s.專業資料.

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upporting himlf and did extremely well. No one could have foreen

such a come- down in his old age! The thought of this naturally depresd him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles. That was why his manner towards me had gradually changed. But during the last two years of paration he has forgotten my faults and simply wants to e me and my son. After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away. When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?

（楊譯）

漢譯英，常需要將意合句轉化為形合句。從意合到形合，似乎簡單，增加connective就行了。其實不然。頭腦中的形合/意合意識是否成熟，在很大程度上影響譯者提供的譯文質量。因添加了connective，英譯之長度似乎應該增加。比讀證明：譯文遣詞不是增加，而是減少。試比較：

1.老境卻如此頹唐！他觸目傷懷，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要發之于外；家庭瑣屑便往往觸他之怒。

張譯：To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry.

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譯文拘謹，以意合句為主，且基本按照原文語序。意合轉化為形合的意識在譯文中得不到足夠反映，connective使用不到位。遣詞累贅！

楊譯：

No one could have foreen such a comedown in his old age! The thought of this naturally depresd him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles.

兩譯字數之比為：47：35 前者明顯過于累贅且不說兩譯“觸目傷懷”之反差巨大，就說后譯中的as，即可品味再三。一個as，看似輕巧，卻見功力，as折射了原句的“因果”邏輯關系，令文脈朗現，邏輯彰顯。一個as，輕易替代了前譯中的That is why…等眾多累贅字眼！

2. 我北來后，他寫了一信給我，信中說道，“我身體平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，舉箸提筆，諸多不便，大約大去之期不遠矣。”

張譯：

After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, “ I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.”

此句使用的connectives“前呼后擁”，如：after/in which/except for/or等。但是，讀來仍然擺脫不累贅的感覺，雖然絕對忠實與原文，但比較生硬

楊譯：After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away.”兩句的字數比是：45：34。讓人感到意外的是，楊譯所使.專業資料.

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用的connective僅兩個：After/so。這又是為什么呢？兩譯對比，尤其是對so的思考，筆者茅塞頓開。

所謂connective，似可根據其作用，分為兩類：一種是結構性的（structural connective），另一種是非結構性的（non-structural connective）。結構性的connective既折射句子內部邏輯關系，又是句子的框架性構件，“支撐”起英語句子，可謂“一箭雙雕”。上譯中的in which即非結構性connective，不反映邏輯關系，承上啟下而已。使用了這樣的connective，未必能簡化表達，與he wrote me a letter相比，in which he said就顯得羅嗦，徒增了行文的字數。結構性的connective，化隱含的邏輯關系為明示的邏輯關系，假如依靠別的文字來描述或傳達同樣的邏輯關系，自然會多費筆墨。如：

I’m all right except for a vere pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes.

Only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen.

下譯中的so，即屬于結構性的connective。So雖不起眼，作用卻大。So不僅使“惟膀子疼痛利害，舉箸提筆，諸多不便”一句中隱含的因果關系“浮出水面”，令讀者易懂，而且使句子結構豁然。而張譯中的I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes獨立成句，邏輯上產生割裂感，“前不著村，后不著店”一般。

漢英翻譯，對英語重形合，漢語重意合的規律只有朦朧印象或泛泛了解是遠遠不夠的。光憑語感使用connective，也未必能夠達到簡化表達的目的。只有對漢語原句作一番邏輯梳理，并亮出結構性的connective，譯文才會顯出優勢。

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3. 我讀到此處，在晶瑩的淚光中，又看見那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布馬褂的背影。唉！我不知何時再能與他相見！

從字面上看，上句沒有顯露邏輯之痕，但是，譯者假如不識其面目（隱含“時間”從句的漢語意合句），照字面“老老實實”地去譯張譯：

Through the glistening tears which the words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to e him again!

“看見那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布馬褂的背影”應該如何理解？其中隱藏著怎樣的邏輯關系？這是一個需要結合上文細加推敲的問題。其“邏輯”背景是：當父親離我而去的時候，我看見那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布馬褂的背影。這個“邏輯”背景是全文之“眼”。漢語是成熟的語言，“當父親離我而去的時候”不必言明，此意已經很自然地溶入字里行間，讀者足以意會。但是，在英譯時，譯者就必須遵從英語表達習慣，應該化隱為顯，變無為有。遺憾的是，張譯顯然沒有注意到這一點，而是作了直譯：I again saw the back of father…句中的動賓搭配（saw/back），基本沿襲了漢語原句的動賓結構（看見/背影）。

請讀楊譯：

When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?

此譯拋棄了原句的動賓結構，而是另立新的動賓搭配：saw / his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket。這樣就騰出了使用connective的空間，譯.專業資料.

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筆多有創意！果然，緊接著出現了一個as（注：這是典型的結構性connective），非常清晰和有層次感地傳遞了“背影”出現的時間。as his burly figure walked away from me在原句里尋找不到相對應的字眼，卻能在上文里尋找到此譯的背景。由as引導的從句，貫通了上下文，并成功點題，把父親的“背影”給譯活了，這比單純地寫I again saw the back of father…更讓人喝彩。如果說，譯文I again saw the back of father…是死板的、平面的、孤立的，而譯文I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me則是鮮活的、立體的、貫通上文的。

英語的形合表達，竟有此妙處，這是我們始料不及的。此外，我們不應忘記，一個as省略了多少贅詞！從張譯的43個單詞縮減到33個！

正如以為語言大家說的，翻譯最重要的有一點就是要完全吃透原文，撥開原有的語言外殼，忠實重塑譯文。還有一定要有很好的漢英功底，才能真正譯好文章，尤其是抒情性散文。因此翻譯工作者包括我們英語專業的學生不應忽視漢語學習，要多讀經典，多讀大家散文，多思考，勤練習，多斟酌用詞方能做一名合格的譯者將中國經典散文翻好，將中國傳統優秀文化更好的傳播給世界。

參考文獻

張培基. “英譯中國現代散文選” 上海外語教育出版社

張今. “文學翻譯原理” 河南大學出版社

余元玲. “ 張培基先生散文翻譯中保存“質樸”風格的技巧——讀《英譯中國現代散文選》有感” 重慶交通學院學報：社會科學版論文

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Shiyu Wei

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